If I Should Lose You (deleted scenes 7)
2007
“The natural appearance of things, deceives the eye: although the reality shows a certain order in its articulation and multiplicity, this order is often obscured by its own forms and colors. At first not discernible to the unpracticed eyes, it is the ‘equilibrated order’ that aroused the deepest emotion of harmony in the viewer.” — Piet Mondrian
Unexpectedly, the phrase “deleted scene” would be the catylist for this new body of work, that would challenge me to journey into unchartered waters. I had just read William Golding’s LORD OF THE FLIES, and then, viewed the Peter Brooke film of the book. Taking note of a “deleted scene” on the DVD menu — viewing it, I noted the beauty of their youth, as well as the tattered white shirts of thier school uniform. Working on drawings that swooned over the beauty of the boys in their new found, somewhat nemisis of an environment, nature, I deleted natures’ surroundings and left only the boys, discovering my tempestuous romance with the balance of science and nature. At one point in the film, one of the boys remarks, “ ...we are not savages, we are British.” The theme of the book/film is an attempt to trace the defects of society back to the defects of human nature.
My world has become defined by CNN. I recall being glued to CNN as the US bombed Iraq with “shock and awe”, as the floods destroyed New Orleans, at lives were lost to the tsunami, as the World Trade Towers, tumbled. I stopped drawing, and thought, who will rescue me/us? Sharing these thoughts with a friend (d) began a process of leading me to my subject. As we talked, I thought, ‘what if i should lose you’ ? What would eventually delete you from my life? Losing our experiences, our smiles, our skin and our hearts. He grew into my work everyday and the fear of losing him enveloped me.
“Memory is the only paradise we can’t be expelled from. It’s not enough to have memories, one must forget them when they are numerous, and wait for them when they return.” — Lennox in Jean Luc Godard’s film, Nouvelle Vague
